In the early 1980s, while taking a leadership class for a master's degree at WVU, our professor worked us through several "in-box" simulations. We were a group of young teachers training to be principals, and he gave us 20 situations we could find in our in-box on a Monday morning as a principal. Our job was to give each a priority ranking and write how we would handle the situation.
On the first set, one of the situations said, "You have received notice from your ex-wife that the alimony check is late." Most of us gave that a low priority and put it at the bottom of the stack. When compared with, "The football team destroyed their visiting team locker room Friday night," and "The boiler has gone out," it seemed trivial. But the sage member of our group, a veteran high school principal who was finally getting his degree (I never did understand that), said, and the professor agreed, that "You need to take care of yourself first if you want to be effective at school." It was a lesson I have not forgotten, but have been guilty of violating often. Many times we put family on the back burner while we do our jobs, but you have to know the limits.
My encouragement is for our men to write your wife a letter telling her how much you love her and why. Ladies, write one to your husband telling him how much you respect him and why. We could not do this work well without their support, and we need to tend to things at home to be our best here. You might be surprised at the appreciation you will receive.